Saturday, February 21, 2004
Awesome! I just bought tickets to see Metallica in May, at the Winnepeg Arena. I rock! It was just a stroke of luck that I happened to be looking up concerts for later this summer.
My friend Bonnie and I have gone to Winnepeg every year for three years (this is year 4). My first concert, ever, was AC/DC. It was unbelievably awesome! Then it was Ozzy Osbourne twice in a row, this year's winner is Metallica. I can't wait.
I thought for a while that our annual concert trip would be at an end since Bonnie moved from Kenora back home here, but hey ... where there's a will, there's a way, and for Metallica, there's DEFINITELY a way!
Kris - 7:53 p.m.
Thursday, February 19, 2004
I finally had my back finished today. Oh I am an aching soul tonight. And I'm dying for a shower because the few hours I spent at Leah's made me break in eczema heads. Piping hot water is only thing that seems to control to any noticable degree, but I can't have my hot shower until tomorrow. Even then I can't let the water run over my back. I'll have pictures up whenever Francine gets her film developed. She took the picture of the Sprite too, hopefully she'll email that one as well.
Kris - 8:59 p.m.
Tomorrow's the big day again. Off to see Francine and have my tattoo finished. I have faith that it will actually BE finished this time, not like last time. And of course I can not sleep. That might be because I slept from 2 to 6 this afternoon. I'm torn between letting dave let me sleep, and asking him to wake me after an hour next time. Naaaw. Let me sleep, I need it, and he likes me better when I'm not deprived and bitchy.
So here I sit, a teapot full of Nancy's Red Tea on the desk beside me, contemplating Life, the Future, and the Past.
Somebody brought up self-mutilation on the forums today, and I took a chance on sharing a piece of my past. Even just a short glimpse into those dark times was enough to chill me. I'm so glad I'm in a better, brighter place. Of course, if you read my other blog
, you'd never know my life is "brighter", but that's all fun and games anyway.
... I remember sitting on the bathroom floor, my child but ten feet away from me in the other room, and hesitating only for a second. I had my usual blades, a razor blade from a disposable razor I had to break open (I kept them with me), and in two seconds the blood would be flowing, thick and red. From my arm, from my leg, or from my shoulder, it didn't matter. A long deep gap would appear in my arm and I would feel nothing but the sting of open flesh after the cut was made. A few minutes of watching theblood flow freely, and I would bind it up, and walk out to resume my maternal duties.
I was too young to be a mother.
I do not regret it now, since now I have my children, but I was far from ready. It amazes me that the scars in my flesh are the only damage I carried through those years. Certainly my daughter knows nothing of what happened during those "quiet times". She thinks my scars were caused by eczema and a car accident. I don't know that I'll ever enlighten her.
Kris - 1:56 a.m.
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
It can stop snowing ANY time now. Another foot of the white stuff between yesterday afternoon and early this morning, and there were still a few straggling flakes coming down when I put Eric on the bus. Yesterday's snow was kind of neat though. I had a black cotton jacket on when I picked Eric up, and it was snowing huge flakes. All the flakes collected on my jacket and Eric and I were able to see the patterens clearly. He thought it was really cool, but was a bit ticked off that the flakes melted when he picked them up.
Kris - 8:42 a.m.
Sunday, February 15, 2004
Yes! He's home! And what a haul he brought home. The porch is full of tools and 'stuff'. They really packed my dad's truck to the gills. He got home around noon yesterday, and him and his brother unloaded the truck. He might have been home late the night before, but they ran out of gas in Marathon, one hour away, and had to spend the night. He said they knew they had to get gas in Wawa (3 hours away), but it was 11 at night and there were no gas stations open. So they kept going, hoping to make it to White River. In White River, there were no gas stations open either, so they went one more hour and while there were also no open gas stations in Marathon, at least the hotel was open. Once you get past Sault St. Marie, nothing is open after 10 pm at night except every fifth hotel.
Dad is here now picking through all the tools Dave brought home. I am surrounded by Daves and Dans. My dad is Dannie, my son is Eric Daniel, Dave is Dave, Dave's brother is Daniel, the minister and close family friend who married us is Dave, Dan (Dave's brother) has a stepson named ... you guessed it, David. And just for variety, his other stepson is Devon. Help, I'm drowning in "D"s!
Kris - 1:54 p.m.